Welcome to my Blog!
I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Abbey, a Sophomore at Central High. I am very involved in theater at school and love my church youth group. My friends all look up to me-- I don't know why... I guess they think I "have it all together."
But I guess lately I have been questioning some things, specifically about sex. Ever since I started junior high, I have been struggling with "the changes" taking place with my body and just my sexual identity in general.
It's just that I am getting so many conflicting messages from friends, family, and even church. For example, I really enjoy listening to vintage Madonna on my mom's old albums from the 80's. The music sounds kinda funny, but Madonna sure is (or was) a strong, self-confident female, sexually. So should I act like she does because I admire her self-confidence? And the rap I listen to... I know the words degrade women, but I still like the beat.
But even at church it's... confusing. Sometimes it seems that the church and my parents are really "against" sex. Dad seems real concerned about me dating, and what "could happen." In church, I hear Bible verses on how the "flesh" is bad, and it seems to me that means my body and sex is bad. But then I remember hearing Pastor Debbie, my pastor (duh ;P) , say that God created human bodies and sexuality and that they were "good" in God's eyes. So, which is it???
And if that isn't enough, what do I do about Billy? Billy is my boyfriend. He's a junior and plays soccer. Our friends said we would make a great couple and well, here we are. Plus, he goes to our church too, so Mom and Dad are cool with it. We've been going out for four months now, and I wonder if we shouldn't be doing "more" stuff together... I mean like, stuff, stuff... you know? We really care for each other. Like the other day, after a movie, we were alone in Billy's car, and he suggested that we take the physical relationship to the "next level." I knew he would bring up oral sex, eventually, and I told him I wasn't sure how I felt about that yet. And he was fine with that. He didn't pressure me or anything, but he did say that a lot of his friends had received oral sex, and that it was safe. I don't know. I want to please him, but I still have questions.Like, is there something wrong with this? I mean, what does my faith, or the Bible, say about this? I know intercourse is wrong, but oral sex isn't the same, right? We'd still be virgins. And I couldn't get pregnant from it... My friends are telling me it's not even really sex.
Ugh... the more I think about it, the more confused I get!
Posted by Abbey @ 11:33 AM
Abbey P.
2 Comments:
Abbey, I admire how you're open about all the questions you have. In a conflicting world it's easy to be confused. It's alright to ask questions, it helps to understand the plans God has for you.
I want to echo what your Pastor said, that God created sex to be a good thing, shared in a healthy loving relationship with your spouse. Society on the other hand puts a whole new twister on it. For generations sex was hardly ever talked about, but now we hear it and see it EVERYWHERE!!
We cannot rely on society's view of sex, it's scewed and way off the mark. Sex needs to be viewed as a sacred gift from God.
While sex is meant for good, it can hurt people too. Many, many people are hurt because they want to please their partner but then days/weeks/months they are dumped...left with the pain, hurt and guilt.
I worry that you wonder if you should have sex with your boyfriend to please him. Red Flag. You should not have sex simply to please someone. Don't buy into...well, if you truly loved me then you would.... If your boyfriend truly loves and RESPECTS you, he should respect your values. He should do whatever it takes to help you stay true to them and not suede you.
Sex is sex despite what everyone thinks. Boys are raging with hormones and feel they need to experiement or find ways to satisfy their "needs." While you can't get pregnant from oral sex, there are other consequences such as STD's.
I encourage you to read Proverbs 31. It's a wonderful chapter! We learn what it means to be a Godly women for our husbands. Proverbs 31:12 reads, "She rewards hime with good, not evil, all the days of her life." ALL THE DAYS of her life, not just when they're married but also before.
God is preparing a godly husband for you who will cherish you and lead you in righteous ways. We too has women need to be preparing for our future husband. Would our actions and choices be pleasing and honoring to our future spouse?
I pray God will fill you with His love and peace. Be content in Him and follow His ways.
Abbey,
I ditto what "anonymous" said. God has a wonderful plan for you and your life...don't sell Him short!
Sex is meant for good, created by God for a man and a woman in a marriage relationship. Not an engaged relationship or a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship...but saved especially for marriage. If you make the choice not to wait, there can be great consequences.
Try to really think about your future spouse one day and what your actions today might mean to that relationship. Oral sex is not intercourse, but it is sex, and should be treated as so. Think with the end in mind.
Respect yourself, respect your parents, respect your future spouse and remember that God has a plan specifically made just for you. You were fearfully and wonderfully made...don't be pressured into something you're not emotionally prepared for.
I pray for peace for you.
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